Clinton Kelly’s book, I Hate Everyone, Except You, is probably the favorite book I’ve read over the past couple of years. I just finished this guy a few days ago, and I have to say I’m sad it’s over! I absolutely looooooved this one. It felt like I lost a friend when I finished the last page. Clinton Kelly is hilarious and such a great writer. The book is basically a compilation of a bunch of essays highlighting some of the funniest, harshest, most interesting times of his life. You get sucked in from the first story he tells you. I honestly feel like he’s my bestie now.
The book is autobiographical-ish. He even admits in the acknowledgement piece at the end that there is a little fiction thrown in, but for the most part, his stories are all from his life. I love his humor, wit, and it turns out that he and I have wayyyyy more in common than I thought possible… like the fact that we hate our forearms. Loathe them, really.
I may or may not have messaged him on Instagram just to tell him that exact thing. And… he may or may not have written me back. It may or may not have been one of the most exciting things I’ve ever received in my inbox like… ever. I may or may not have debated buying a ticket to New York (or Connecticut where his house is) just to go see him. May… or may not.
He uses his stories to highlight some of the most interesting and touching topics we talk about today. For instance, he tells the story of the time he gave the main speech for his high school’s graduation (about twenty years after he’d left). He admits he hated high school and that he never felt like going back [he says it in much more colorful language though]. He ends up agreeing to go and give the speech, despite his complete disdain for teenagers.
This was my favorite quote from that speech and from the book as a whole:
Here’s a larger excerpt, just so you get the real ah-hah moment that I did:
I think too often we focus on what everyone else thinks about us instead of just being happy with who we are and what we have. He says instead of spending our energy on those things, we should surround ourselves with people who lift us up. It’s something we’ve heard since our elementary counselor lessons, but it’s just so damn true. And the way he phrases it really just body-slammed my brain… “What you think about me says more about you than it does about me.” Bam.
There are so many other funny and crazy stories in his book, but be warned, it’s not something you would read to your kids or in Sunday school. It’s definitely raunchy and raw, but in all the right ways.
I hope you write another book soon, my bestie. Until then, I’m off to re-read this one.